For someone who can’t swim, surfing is not an obvious sport of choice.  A spectacular noisedive from a Malibu wave carried me like a puppet to the beach where it beat my knee stupid against the rocks. Oh how I cried. Not from the pain, but because I didn’t catch it. That day I got my priorities right. Surfing, truly, eliminates bullshit.

Hence, I make no apologies for surfing every weekend. I am not sorry for falling off my new skateboard in a local park. Or having a BBQ at 1am in the morning and staying up till sunrise, in my Superman pyjamas.  I’d rather listen to the Jason Ellis show than Radio 4. And I don’t see any reason why I should ‘uplug’ on my holidays. Or pretend I like children who can’t hold a conversation.

Call it a mid-life crisis. I’m going surfing …

My dream surf buddies

That brings me to this Saturday exploits.  Yet again, 4 degrees and icy wind when we took to the stables at Chobham Common. Lovely Julia found this gem of a riding school, which combines English dressage (wanky) with Western riding (awesome). We went out on a two-hour ride across the Common, accompanied by Buddy, Dude and Uno, lovely criollos.

Uno - an egotistical beast

If you thought surfing in winter was a stupid idea than riding in winter is fucking lunacy. I could not feel my fingers or my toes, leaving Uno to steer himself. Horses are not the most intelligent animals in the world and Uno is no exception. I have suffered a few bruises and wig-smacks when he tried to squeeze through some horse-size gaps, clearly forgetting he had a human on his back. In hindsight, maybe he’s not stupid at all, just an egotistical beast. I loved him to bits.

So how do they compare? On a scale of 1-10: mild hypothermia – surfing was 5, riding about 8. Aches and pains? Surfing – 1, riding – 8.  I definitely looked better after riding though.

If you feel like cooling your cockles join the London Surfing meet-up or my own Horselicious meet-up. I can promise you this: you will be freezing and you’ll love it.

We’re assembling our super-duper marketing team.  Get in! If you think you can handle working with @nopstar and moi, drop us a line.

And, yes, finally, our PR account is up for grabs. Rejoice! You want it? Read on.

1. Don’t bullshit. If you tell me you are best mates with Charles Arthur, I’m bound to ask you what grade he climbs.
2. Tell me something I don’t know. Like what the capital of Kyrgyz is. Or what PR/social media trick I am missing.
3. Get to know me. I do come up on a first page on ‘the’ Google, a bit below Zuzanna, the porn star.
4. Help me to learn more about your team. LinkedIn and Twitter handles appreciated.
5. Be realistic. I’m all about ROI. I will not fall for a campaign if I cannot see users at the end of the tunnel.

I’m having a few ‘over a coffee’ meetings with PR agencies next week, but if you think you have what it takes to work with Huddle, drop me a line zuzannaAThuddle.net.

The following events took place yesterday:

1. I have lost my aunt’s £5,000. I’m such a great niece, I am.
2. Gary Vaynerchuk’s Crush It! arrived from Amazon
3. So did a Mira showerhead minus a hose washer = water everywhere
4. I finally finished drafting three marketing jobs descriptions for Huddle

Overall, it could’ve been worse. I could be pregnant. It would cost more than £5,000 in a first year, wouldn’t it? Or I could’ve slipped on #uksnow last night, fallen on my face and needed some expensive re-constructive surgery (post-Nude LondonTech Calendar, I’ve become exceedingly vain). No one died, no one got diagnosed with a terminal disease.

Yet, losing £5k of my aunt’s money that I invested in my former company’s shares (seven years of sweat and tears) left me a bit weepy. It’s not fair, I thought. It was supposed to be my Dodge fund (you do need a Dodge on a ranch).

But then, I started reading ‘Crush It’ on my way back home. By the time I got to Gary Vee’s baseball cards-$1,000 borrowed from dad-lost-repaid within four months story, I couldn’t care less if my former employer went bust (it didn’t, most likely won’t, but my monies, sorry, auntie’s monies lost). One way or the other, my auntie’s getting her money back.

According to Gary, I’m on my way. Success is in my DNA. I, too, know what it’s like to queue six hours to buy a loaf of bread. I follow his three rules: Love your family. Work superhard. Live your passion. I might have to work on the ‘Love your family’ bit after my mother’s reaction to the #LDNnudetech was, I quote: “Well, well, you don’t look too bad”.

I guess being passionate about building brands may seem pretty lame to some, but hey ho, rocks my boat. It’s on par with, let’s say, a fast trot. And hearing from some of you that you need ‘a Zuzanna’ or ‘a @huddlesuz’ for your marketing team surely means that the formula works.

Huddle and building our marketing team aside, I still have some time to spare in a day to make my auntie’s £5k back (7pm-2am since I don’t have any kids, Gary says). Perhaps, it’s just a kick in a butt I needed to take some proper care of Horselicious. Failing that, I’ll be setting up some lemonade stands across Camden.

If you missed the moral of the above story: read Gary’s book, it’s fucking awesome.

Gary and I comparing vaccination scars @DrinkTank Paris

For those of you who don’t know what Silicon Stilettos is and how it works, here’s a recap. It’s a highly irregular (as in it happens or it doesn’t) and informal meet-up with lots of girls working in tech, social media or running their own ventures, some drinks and an odd crisp. In the past, we’ve been supported by my favourite legal eagles, Winston& Strawn, always-there-for-you Sun Startup Essentials and Wendy ‘The Wonderwoman’ Moonfruit. Without them, there would’ve been no Silicon Stilettos.

Our latest sponsor, Ping Pong couldn’t surprise us more. We met in their City branch, with a massive, private upstairs room that screams ‘Christmas party!’ The hosts couldn’t do enough for us. Glasses were refilled with a speed of light, hot and delicious baked puffs and spring rolls served in enormous quantities. And how about that Ping Pong cocktail?

As per usual, food and drink were accompanied by some great conversations. I just wish more girls made to that one. There was so much food, we had to get some doggie bags!

Thank you Ping Pong! Follow Ping Pong on Twitter @pingpongdimsum, it’s the least we can do for them in return for our most delicious meet-up so far!

1. This is probably the best I will ever look. I have been denying myself carbs for  almost a year. Surely, my willpower can’t last much longer.
2. Husband told me to do it. He wants a reminder, when I’m old and fat, why he married me.
3. It’s not like people haven’t seen me naked before. In a changing room, on a balcony, on a beach, skinny dipping in various wild swimming pools. I know no shame.
4. My first and last chance to get photoshopped. Hey, if Kate Winslet can do it, why should I be denied the privilege?
5. I’m pretty sure no corporate will ever employ me post-calendar. I will have more time to smell the roses. Or eat Hula Pie.
6. My parents never told me I was pretty. It’s an ego trip, it’s all there’s to it.
7. No one takes me seriously with my clothes on, why should it be any different when I am naked?
8. I have no talents, whatsoever. This is the only way to become famous. This or Big Brother. Oops, too late for BB, calendar it is.
9. The look on my son’s face when he discovers the calendar in 15 years time – priceless. Then again, I’m not really planning to have children and I can probably go to jail for just imagining this.
10. It’s for a frickin’charity people!

Are we over this yet?

So if you are a women in tech, start-up, social media, tech PR etc., join us at Silicon Stilettos on Ning. 

If you want to go riding with a group over the weekend this summer – whether you have ever ridden or not, then Horselicious on Meet-up is where you should be at.

And since it’s all ‘changes, changes’, I will be making this blog a little bit more personal and publish some non-tech posts from now on.